Crock’s Thoughts

Hmmm… well, ummm… how do I say this without attracting the Jurassic Park folks? Okay, I’ll write really quietly and we’ll keep this between us. 🤫 Deal? Deal!

So, my favorite animal is the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The big chompy lizard king—Yeah, I know… Paleontologists think he was actually a big bird—with teeth the size of cafeteria hotdogs and an attitude like someone who didn’t get pizza and beer on Friday night.

Now, owning a T-Rex is actually kinda cool. I mean, I should probably question my life choices, but let’s roll with this. There are definitely some upsides.

For starters, no one ever cuts me off in traffic. One roar out the back seat window, and suddenly everyone’s using turn signals like they’re auditioning for a driving-school commercial.

Plus, lawn care becomes effortless. A T-Rex doesn’t tiptoe—it steamrolls. Grass, weeds, patio furniture, all flattened. Even that creepy garden gnome I never liked. Gone!

And home security goes to a whole new level when your property shakes with every thump… thump… thump! Take that you burglars! 👊

But of course, ownership has its… well, challenges. Feeding my T-Rex definitely hurts the wallet. I find myself at the store asking, “Do you happen to sell cows… you know… by the dozen?”

And I certainly don’t expect help with chores. Those tiny arms may be fierce, but they’re not folding laundry or reaching the sock drawer anytime soon. Now that I think about it, those tiny arms don’t even look very fierce.

Then there’s the neighbors. Oh, yes… those wonderful neighbors. 🙄 Apparently, constant earth-shaking stomping and prehistoric screaming breaks a few HOA rules. Some people just can’t appreciate a dinosaur’s charm. I mean, really? 🤷‍♂️😂

So yes, the T-Rex is majestic, terrifying, and hands-down the coolest animal ever.

Just kidding! My favorites are dogs and cats. I know, boring, right? 🐶🐱😂