Crock’s Thoughts

If I were going to open up a shop, you’d probably think I’d sell airplanes and pizza. Ha! Wrong! You’ve clearly underestimated my ability to mix poor business decisions with personal hobbies.

I’d sell books.

But not just any bookstore. Mine would be by the ocean, because if I’m going to lose money, I’d like to do it with a salty breeze in my hair and the sound of seagulls plotting my demise. Naturally, I’d dress like an unemployed pirate every day—because what’s the point of having your own shop if you can’t greet customers with an eye patch, a fake parrot, and a suspiciously sticky cutlass used to cut too many pizzas?

And yes, I’d have pizza. Not because it fits any book theme, but because pizza fits every theme. “Sir, is this anchovy slice nautical-themed?” Yes. Yes, it is. Now walk the plank!

Oh, and there would be cats. Lots of cats! Ten of them at minimum. They’d roam the aisles like furry little librarians who don’t believe in the Dewey Decimal System and occasionally judge your reading choices from the top shelf. Buy a romance novel? Mr. Whiskers will knock it onto the floor in disapproval.

And because every great bookstore-pirate-cat-pizza experience needs a drink menu, I’d offer complimentary Godfather drinks—scotch and amaretto on the rocks—because nothing says, “settle in with a good book” like sipping a mobster-approved drink while a cat steals your bookmark.

So, picture it… a cozy seaside bookstore, the faint smell of pizza in the air, the sound of waves crashing, a pirate with a questionable resume manning the register, a fleet of judgmental cats, and a Godfather drink in your hand.

Honestly, I think it’s a million-dollar idea… mostly because I’ll need about a million dollars to keep it running. LOL!