So, apparently there’s a reason I don’t get dressed in the dark.
This morning, in a pre-caffeinated haze, I managed to throw on clothes with the precision of a raccoon rummaging through a trash can. I zipped off to the airport half awake, assuming all my limbs and clothing were in their correct places.
Yeah, they were not…
So, after I was thoroughly hydrated with my coffee, it was pitstop time—better known as take a piss time.
I sidle up to the urinal like any self-respecting aviator who has to pee… and that’s when I noticed something was off. I go to initiate, and—wait, where’s my dick flap door? You know, the gateway to manly convenience. The patented easy-access front hatch. The one feature that makes boxers boxers!
Gone!
Vanished!
I’m like, now digging elbow deep into my pants looking for the damn thing. All the while my bladder is ready to burst—and yes, I could have unbuckled and gone dick flap doorless, but when a guy has such conveniences, I wanna use it!
Meanwhile, my urinal neighbor had to pipe in, too, commenting that he hoped it wasn’t that hard to find my dick…
I calmly explained that my dick was present and accounted for… but I lost my dick flap door! Which almost caused him to pee on the wall laughing.
Anyway, it finally hit me! Like a jet blast from a 737… I had my boxers on BACKWARDS! 🤦🤣
So, yeah… after I finally did my thing, I quietly zipped up—dignity semi-intact—and slinked to a less judgmental part of the airport.
So, next time you’re tempted to get dressed in the dark, remember: that little hole in the front of your underwear exists for a reason—and it’s not supposed to be pressing against your ass.
As one coworker commented, “They really allow you around airplanes?” 😂
Crock’s Thoughts 