List your top 5 favorite fruits.
Nature’s candy! 😋 The original snack pack before Lunchables came along and ruined us with deli meat rectangles and Capri-Sun pouches you needed a spear gun to open.
I present to you, my top five favorite fruits—because people need to know where I stand on such critical matters.
Apples: The Overachiever
Crunchy, juicy, sweet, or tart, the apple can be anything it wants—Gala? Fuji? Granny Smith? It’s got range! It’s the Celine Dion of fruits.
Also, bonus points for being the only fruit that doubles as a teacher bribe and a projectile in colonial riots.
Pineapple: The Tropical Party Guest
Ah, pineapple. The fruit that’s all like, “Hey, I’m sweet and exotic and full of sunshine,” but then you eat too much and suddenly your tongue feels like it licked a belt sander.
Still, pineapple is the party guest of fruit. It shows up loud, dressed in something spiky, wearing sunglasses, and says, “Let’s do shots!”
Just don’t put it on pizza—or at least don’t admit to it—unless you’re prepared to start a full-blown philosophical debate with Italians and internet trolls.
Cherry Tomatoes: The Plot Twist
Yes, it’s a fruit… I didn’t make the rules—I just lean on science when it benefits me. Cherry tomatoes are the fruit equivalent of someone crashing your fruit salad in a tuxedo. They’re juicy, sassy, and have a tendency to explode when bitten into with reckless confidence.
You think you’ve got a handle on your sandwich? Boom! Tomato juice shrapnel! You’ve now got a salad dressing facial. But still—delicious, refreshing, and slightly rebellious. I respect that.
Grapes: The Snack That Enables Procrastination
Let’s be real. Grapes are the lazy snacker’s dream. No peeling, no slicing—just pop ’em in your mouth like edible marbles. You say you’re only eating a few, and the next thing you know, you’ve inhaled half a vineyard while watching reruns of Judge Judy.
Also, grapes are the only fruit with a career backup plan. Don’t eat them fresh? Fine… they’ll ferment and presto-tango, you’ve got wine! Talk about ambition!
Oranges: The Citrus That Makes You Work For It
Oranges are like puzzles wrapped in frustration. Peeling them takes the same effort as defusing a small explosive device. But the payoff? Worth it! That burst of citrus mist when you finally crack it open is basically a fruit-scented baptism.
Plus, oranges are the original immune system booster. Feeling sick? Here, have an orange! Got a paper cut? Have an orange! IRS audit? Definitely… have several oranges!
My Fun Final Fruity Thoughts
Fruits are proof that nature has a sense of humor and a flair for color coordination. Whether it’s the pretentious crunch of an apple or the juice grenade that is a cherry tomato, I’m here for all of it!
And if you disagree with my list? That’s fine. More pineapple for me—and more cherry tomatoes ricocheting into your lap.
Stay fruity, my friends! 😜
Crock’s Thoughts 